It's that time of year when cemetery guards are easily spooked, on alert for signs of one of the oldest, most ghoulish and most persistent of crimes: grave robberies. ...more

November 1, 2009

It is no wonder it costs the city plenty for emergency medical response teams. Every day there is an accident on Interstate 4. Why? People drive too fast. ...more

August 21, 2009

Hey government, I've maxed out my credit cards, I'm about to lose my house, my car - everything - due to some very bad decisions on my part (mainly trying to get rich quick at Seminole Hard Rock). Please give me $1 million before I lose it all. ...more

October 11, 2008

The following is a public service announcement. Hi kids. Your great-grandma cut this out of the newspaper - that's the thing people read before the Internet - and sent it to you through the Postal Service - that's the thing people used before e-mail - because she wants me, a regionally known media personality, to warn you about the terrible dangers of mooning. ...more

June 11, 2008

So Punxsutawney Phil, the famous groundhog in Pennsylvania, saw his shadow on Saturday. This supposedly indicates six more weeks of winter weather. I'm not sure why a rodent is determining our weather outlook, but I have a tough time believing in winter weather when I live in Florida. Make me wear a sweater and we'll talk. Too bad Punxsutawney Phil can't predict the outcome of the November election. Sure would save us all a lot of time and aggravation, not to mention nine more months of rallies and debates. Yes, our job is finished for the time being, our primary duties completed last week. But it's a "Super" week. Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday and tomorrow is Super Tuesday. ...more

February 4, 2008