Say farewell to parts of our lives

The post office: They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term. E-mail, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive. Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills.

The newspaper: The younger generation simply doesn't read the newspaper. As for reading the paper online, get ready to pay for it. The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance. They have met with Apple, Amazon and the major cell phone companies to develop a model for paid subscription services.

The land line telephone: Most people keep it simply because they've always had it, but paying double charges for that extra service. All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes.

Privacy: It's been gone for a long time anyway. There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings and even built into your computer and cell phone. If you buy something, your habit is put into a zillion profiles and your ads will change to reflect those habits. Then "They" will try to get you to buy something else, again and again.

We may still have our memories.

Youthful thoughtfulness

Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie."

Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful. The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great," said Little Johnnie, "he'd be in real trouble if he needed glasses."

Say What?

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our president.

The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a "post turtle."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dummy put him up there in the first place."

Raleigh Whiteman, of Lake Placid, is a contributing writer to Highlands Today. You can reach him on the Internet at rwwhiteman@comcast.net