Life skills are learned on mission

Just about anywhere you travel, you'll find young men in white shirts, dark pants and ties wearing a name tag identifying themselves as missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormon Church.

From August 2008 to Aug. 11{+t}{+h} of this year, 22-year-old Sebring resident Timothy Wheaton was one of them.

He spent one and a half years in the San Fernando Valley in California and six months in Little Rock, California, near the Mohave Desert. If that wasn't culture shock enough, Wheaton was assigned to a Spanish-speaking mission for his time in the San Fernando Valley. And he didn't speak a lick of Spanish.

"I knew numbers and days of the week," said Wheaton, who admitted that he'd run into his high school Spanish teacher after returning to Sebring and that she was proud of how much Spanish he'd learned.

Missionaries do not get to choose where they go. They receive a letter in the mail informing them of where in the world they will be spending up to two years of their life, and what languages, if any, they will be expected to learn.

"I was excited to speak Spanish," Wheaton admitted, "When I heard it was California, I was a little disappointed that I didn't go out of the country, but I was happy. It's a little easier to send letters and communicate with family."

The life of a missionary

At the tender age of 19, when most teens are struggling with college, jobs, or just figuring out what to do with their lives, Wheaton was traveling to the Missionary Training Center in Utah and starting a rigorous two-month schedule that included waking up at 6:30 a.m., six hours of class time, three hours of studying, and bedtime at 10:30 p.m.

When he arrived in California, he was still expected to rise early and continue with religious and language studies while spending nine to 10 hours knocking on doors with his companion (missionaries travel in twos) and looking for people to talk to. As you can imagine, there's a lot of rejection.

"The first door was always the hardest," said Wheaton. Whether the people invited Wheaton and his companion in or not, he found the rest of the day easier after that initial contact.

Wheaton experienced doors slamming in his face, being yelled at, and crude remarks as well as profanity. "At the time you feel kind of bad because someone is yelling at you, but afterward you feel an encompassing kind of shield, protecting you," said Wheaton.

When the young men were invited in to chat was when Wheaton enjoyed his mission experience the most. "The best part was seeing the happiness that people had when we taught them. It made me feel like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing."

Not the safest place

A major concern was that the area Wheaton was placed in was not exactly safe. "I got put in the really dangerous areas, like one of the streets we walked on, you weren't supposed to be on after 8 p.m.," said Wheaton. "Sometimes we were out later than that because someone invited us and we can't say no."

But Wheaton said he never felt particularly threatened, even when faced with 6-foot-tall, 250-pound gang members. "Because of the way we dressed and what we did, the gangsters respected us," he explained. "They wear lots of jewelry, but they always talk about how they love God and they love hearing about God. They do bad things because they're in a gang, but they actually respect God and they actually pray sometimes. People that teach about God, they are cool with."

Wheaton quickly added, "I would never walk down those streets wearing regular clothes."

A different culture

Even after two months of intensive training, Wheaton said it wasn't until about eight months into his mission that he felt comfortable with his level of Spanish. As a Caucasian, he quickly discovered he was a minority in the mostly Hispanic area, and he had the opportunity to meet people from all over Latin America as well as people of Middle Eastern background.

The young men were invited over for many meals, and Wheaton, who said he had never eaten spicy food before, got to try chiles, habanero peppers (some of the hottest peppers in the world), enchiladas, empanadas, tongue, and brain tacos (yes, that's right, brain tacos). Wheaton enjoyed most of it, especially the enchiladas - the rest he mixed with rice and politely downed. He even liked the brain taco. "I think they purposely tried to give the 'white guys' weird food," he admitted.

The practical side

These 19- and 20-year-olds have to grow up a lot in two years as well. They learn life skills that often take adults much longer to master, such as managing finances and washing and ironing white shirts. Wheaton said his mom had prepared him for doing his own laundry, but it's a different story when you have to secure handfuls of quarters and use a laundromat down the street. Also, living in an apartment with noisy neighbors could be challenging at times.

The boys were also expected to manage their own finances and meals, and purchase their own groceries, which they were only allowed to do once a week. "I had to learn what foods were cheap, fast and healthy," said Wheaton, who started off buying microwaveable frozen dinners, but quickly tired of them. Proportioning out things like milk to ensure they didn't run out and discovering how long produce lasted also took some on-the-job learning. "You can't eat this much food in a day or else you won't have enough for the rest of the week," explained Wheaton. His biggest piece of practical advice: "Go for off brands."

While on his mission, Wheaton was strictly limited in how much contact he had with family and friends at home, and also electronic media that teens these days are so used to. While Wheaton found his strict schedule and focus on religious matters helped alleviate technological homesickness, he noted that it was tough trying to get things done without access to a computer and a Google search engine.

"We weren't allowed to watch TV, listen to the radio, or go to movies. We could use the computer once a week for an hour just to e-mail families. You can't use cell phones, can't call by phone to a friend," said Wheaton. "Sometimes I missed having my own phone to talk to my friends, like on hard days when you're not having success. You start reflecting on your old life and missing it."

Coming home again

Back home now, Wheaton finds that he's assimilating quickly into his "old life" out of necessity. He lives in a family condo with his brother, coaches soccer, and attends SFCC, preparing to transfer to UCF in the summer to study physical therapy.

But the experiences he had on his mission have taught him many things and deepened his own spirituality. Wheaton feels he now has a better understanding of those who are different from him, who are from different backgrounds with different needs, who yet find comfort in religion just as he does.

Teamwork is another lesson learned. "Having control over what you do - I missed that. But it taught me to rely on others. It's not just you, you, you."

A good work ethic is something else he's taken away. "The hard days helped you appreciate the good days, but the hard days keep you humble. You have to work for it," Wheaton said.