It's the 4th of July; you gotta have a hot dog

The Chicago hot dog, according to the late, great columnist Mike Royko, is the culinary delight of man: Vienna wiener, poppy seed bun, tomatoes, jalapeno, mustard, ketchup, celery salt, and a dill pickle spear.

A dill pickle spear? On a hot dog? What in the holy name Richard Joseph Daley is a dill pickle spear doing on a hot dog?

And look at that jalapeno, perched on one end. Every epicurean knows that der proper schnietzel must taste the same, bite after bite, from the left end of the dog to the right. Tossing one willy-nilly pepper onto a wiener is unseemly.

How the locals eat

Mitch Gonzales, who was from Denver until September, boils his dogs.

"Sometimes we fry them. Then we put mustard, pickle, relish, onion and sauerkraut on them, and the sauerkraut is what makes the dog."

Prior to World War I, hundreds of thousands of Germans settled on the East Coast, Texas and California, where kraut dogs are often served.

Gonzales also admits to a certain fondness for DQ. "Dairy Queen. Their hot dogs are wonderful. With mustard and pickle relish. The only thing is, you have to make sure they're beef."

Down at the local Grill & Chill, GM Ron Turner gets requests for sauerkraut but has none. He does have slaw dogs - mustard, ketchup and slaw - and sells a litter every day.

Karen Gonzales' mom, Peggy Wack, used to make pig splitters with bacon - known as health food in the South.

"She sliced open a pocket down the middle, and put in sharp cheddar cheese, then onions. It's wrapped in bacon, broiled until the bacon is crispy. The onions, they steam until they're tender."

It's a low-carb delight: no bun. "Just put it on a plate and eat it that way," she said. "Serve it with beans and potato salad."

Later, Karen checked with her sister, Mary McClelland. "She said Mom never put onions on it while cooking it."

When Shelly Mecure was young, her grandmother would make hot dog sandwiches. "She would boil two hot dogs and cut them long ways and lay them in bread with ketchup and a little dash of garlic powder. Now that I'm older, I enjoy having them with the works: Miracle Whip, 'cause mayo is just gross, ketchup, mustard, onion and relish - sweet. I also love them with chili and chopped up onion. My 3-year-old likes to skip the bun and just eat them on the plate."

Dick Peavy, purchasing coordinator at South Florida Community College, speaks reverentially of the Peppy Traditional: "Hot dog grilled, never boiled; split, not butterflied, and pepperjack cheese placed in the split; yellow mustard, baseball game style, on a traditional hot dog bun. Side of BBQ Fritos, all on a paper plate."

"The best hotdogs you can get are from Jerry's Hotdog Stand in Elizabeth, N.J.," said Bob Kosiba, a community assistance consultant in LaBelle. "They've been there for over 40 years. I like mine with chili, sauerkraut and mustard."

Not so fast, says Linda Burkellof Lake Placid. "The best hot dog we ever had was in Hinton, W.V. at the Dairy Queen.They have a regional hot dog that they call 'with everything.'This includes hot dog, chili, onions and cole slaw.Sounds weird, but it is delicious. We couldn't get enough."

Growing up in New York City, Don Lilja,who now lives at Buttonwood Bay, was fond of two hotdogs: "In my early 20s, I remember going to Nathan's late at night with my friends and proceeding to see who could eat the most. I remember being able to eat seven. They were 15 cents each. I never used condiments, as I didn't want to ruin the taste."

Sabrett's were commonly sold by pushcart vendors with umbrellas that would set up shop on busy street corners. "If you were pressed for time, you might tell your co-workers that you're just going to grab a tube steak under the umbrella."

Roslyn Carbonaro, a Brooklynite who has lived in Sebring 10 years, still hankers for Nathan's.

"It's in Coney Island," Carbonaro said. As a kid, she also ate hot dogs at Jewish delis that were all over New York City. "They always had an open grill that you could look through the window and see them on the grill. Or you could buy them from street vendors."

In the South, where hot dogs are almost assumed to have chili, Carbonaro likes nothing more than yellow mustard and sauerkraut.

"I never ate chili until I moved to California 30 years ago," Carbonaro said. "Chili was not a food that I knew or grew up with.

Royko, the famously grouchy Tribune columnist, wrote a 1995 column about Sen. Carol Moseley-Braun, who'd contributed a recipe for the iconic Chicago hot dog that included (gasp!) ketchup.

"Civilized, discriminating Chicago taste buds are snorting and sneering and flinging this shameful recipe to the floor and spitting on it," Royko wrote. "I won't condemn anyone for putting ketchup on a hot dog. This is the land of the free. And if someone wants to put ketchup on a hot dog and actually eat the awful thing, that is their right. It is also their right to put mayo or chocolate syrup or toenail clippings or cat hair on a hot dog."

"But to publicly state that you put ketchup on a Chicago hot dog? And overlook the celery salt? It is said that power corrupts. I didn't know that it brings on utter madness."

Royko quoted hot dog experts like Maurie Berman, the owner of Superdawg on the Northwest Side, who yowled that he's seeing more and more desecrations of the Chicago hot dog: "We say, 'Sir, the ketchup bottle is on the side. We'll ask you to squirt that yourself.'"

John Miyares served hot dogs at Irving's, near the Loyola campus: "No ketchup, no kraut. That's the law."

Red, white and hot

Here are some famous American hot dogs, according to Wikipedia. There are variations on each:

Willy dog, Dew Drop Inn in southern Alabama. Bright pink-red hot dog, ketchup, mustard, chili, sauerkraut, pickles. During Mardi Gras, street vendors sell them with a deep fried bun.

Sonoran hot dog, southern Arizona and Sonora, Mexico. Grilled, wrapped in Mesquite smoked bacon, tomatoes, onions, yellow or cotijo cheese, tomatillo salsa or red chili sauce, pinto beans, mayonnaise, ketchup or mustard, served on bread, often with chili.

Oki dog, West Hollywood, Calif. Two hot dogs on a flour tortilla covered with chili and pastrami and wrapped like a burrito.

Split dog, Connecticut. Deep fried dog, finished on the grill. Frequent condiments include brown mustard, sauerkraut, chopped onions, bacon, sweet pickle relish and ketchup.

Half smoke, Washington, D.C. Half beef, half pork spicy sausage served on a hot dog bun with a spicy chili, mustard, and onions.

Chicago dog. Vienna beef wiener sliced or wedged tomatoes, dill pickle spear, nuclear green sweet pickle relish, yellow mustard, pickled sport peppers, celery salt, steamed poppy seed bun.

Kansas City dog. Sauerkraut and melted Swiss cheese.

Flo's Hotdog, southern Maine. Red casing dog, mayonnaise, sweet onion relish, celery salt.

Fenway Frank, Boston. Ketchup, mustard, relish, piccalilli (chopped veggie and spice) relish, chopped onions.

Northeastern Massachusetts. Boiled and served with mustard and sweet relish, with or without a frankfurt roll.

Southeastern Massachusetts. Grilled dog, steamed bun, beanless chili, chopped onion, mustard, celery salt.

Fairbury, Lincoln, Neb. Sold at Cornhusker football games, or fired from "Der Weiner Schlinger" an air cannon that lobs foil-wrapped hot dogs. It's powerful enough to reach the upper deck.

Mush puppy, Southern Michigan. Beef hot dog, steamed cheddar bun, melted cheddar sauce cooked mushroom slices.

Potato dog, New Jersey. Diced and stewed potatoes, brown mustard, spicy dog.

Red Hots and White Hots, New York. German bockwurst. Michigans are served with a meaty Sloppy Joe sauce.

Carolina dog. Chili, cole slaw, mustard, onions.

Chehalis Breakfast Dog, Washington state. Hot dog baked in biscuit dough, wrapped with a strip of bacon.