Opportunity missed with Billy Mays

Way back when people were still asking "Who is that guy?" when they saw the bearded salesperson pushing products on TV, I interviewed a fellow who told me he was a neighbor of Billy Mays. He said that he would try to arrange an interview with the TV personality if I was ever interested. Sadly I never seemed to have the time to take him up on the offer. After all it's a long drive over to Tampa. How many times I've regretted not making the effort. After all I've always been entranced by those smooth, fast-talking product demonstration guys.

More years ago than I care to remember we went to a local fair. While there I was attracted to a pitchman demonstrating one of those handy-dandy kitchen utensils. It sliced and diced and shredded vegetables as gently as powdering a baby's bottom. And so quickly that the onions didn't have time to bring tears to your eyes. It did everything in the kitchen except mop the floor. Looking at the plastic gadget with thin metal strips used for cutters objectively I would imagine that it cost about 75 cents to produce. But it was a bargain at the special today-only fair price of $10; not only that, but just for today a 'free' juicer was thrown in.

I loved my little Combi Chef, as it was called. I used it for years and the day it became too worn to even wash itself I grieved at its burial in the local landfill. I was convinced my kitchen gadget would never be replaced until one fateful day I discovered one at a garage sale. I couldn't believe my good fortune. It was even brand new. And it was marked at $1. I didn't even haggle over the price, which did make the seller a little suspicious, but she accepted my dollar anyway. On the way home I bought a peck of tomatoes, some onions and a couple of cucumbers just so I could practice my slicing, dicing and shredding.

I still use that replacement Combi Chef. And from now on every time I use it I will think of Billy Mays. May he rest in the knowledge that he established an indelible mark of respectability on the industry.

Don't look down

I was never a fan of Michael Jackson. I prefer my celebrities to exhibit some degree of normalcy when off the world's stage. However I think the gloved one got a bad break when he was criticized so severely for dangling his son out of a window. Not that I condone his actions, but during that same week one of the tabloids pictured a movie star throwing his son in the air. The child was at least four feet above the actor's outstretched arms. One slip and the little one would have fallen on to the concrete drive.

The magazine thought daddy was being playful. Personally I saw no difference between the two actions. And no, I neither remember the magazine nor the dangerous daddy.

A doggone good breakfast

We got to have breakfast with Sebring's Police Chief Tom Dettman last week. He was more than excited about the community support his department received in its fundraiser for a new police dog. The goal was $15,000 and the contributions nearly broke $22,000. The additional monies will go toward any ancillary stuff needed to support a four-legged patrol person and for its general upkeep.

More than once Tom mentioned his appreciativeness of a community that recognizes the need of a well-equipped law enforcement department.

The breed and sex of the new K-9 officer has yet to be determined. But it will be replacing the dog that has been sniffing around the city since 1999. The retiring Fea was classified as a 'narcotics detection' dog. Her replacement will be one trained for 'multi-purpose' detection. Look out bad guys.

And congratulations chief for a well orchestrated fund-raiser.

Overheard

Overheard at the checkout counter: Press one for free transportation back to your legal country.