Family's Family, But Golfing Comes First

Harold was teeing off from the back tees. On his down-swing, he suddenly realized that his wife, Judy, was about to tee off from the red tees, directly in his path. Unable to stop his down swing he nailed the ball, hit Judy directly in the right temple, killing her instantly. A few days later Harold received a call from the coroner concerning her autopsy . "Harold, your wife seems to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and struck her in the temple. Is that correct?

"Yes sir," Harold replied, "that's correct."

"Well, Harold, I also found a large bruise on Judy's right hip. Do you know anything about that?"

"Yes sir," Harold said, "That would have been my mulligan.

Practice Pays Off

I'm not quite that obsessed with golfing but I do like to practice and it seems to be paying off. I play a round with few of my friends as often as I can. We have been playing at the Bobcat course in Spring Lake, par is 68 for two rounds on the nine-hole course and for the past couple of weeks I have managed to shoot in the low 80s. Last week I accomplished something I have never done in my 45 years of golfing and that is to get an eagle, more impressive is that I did it on a par 4 hole, 250 yards from the gold tees. My drive was five feet short of the green about 30-35 feet from the pin. I putted hoping to get it close enough to get a birdie and it went in; I shot an 80 that day.

Know Your Bible

A good friend from Fort Myers sent me the following bit of humor found in the Bible. My brother Danny in Miramar used it in his Sunday school class I think you will find it interesting.

What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?

A. Ruthless.

What do they call pastors in Germany ?

A. German Shepherds.

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A. Noah He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought the house down.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in in Eden ?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

A. The area around Jordan . The banks were always overflowing.

Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?

A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Which Bible character had no parents?

A. Joshua, son of Nun.