Things Are Just Things, Aren't They?

University of Minnesota's Extension Service developed the course "Who Gets Grandma's Yellow Pie Plate?" It's a guide for meaningfully passing on personal belongings.

Becky Rousch teaches it locally to members of Lifetime Learners Institute at SFCC. All sorts of information on the subject can also be obtained at http://www.yellowpieplate.umn.edu.

The Web site and the course improve the decision-making process of who gets what. Practical advice is given on how to begin communication with family members to help ascertain what "things" they may be interested in acquiring when an elder passes.

Knowing which items are of interest to individual family members and why they mean something to them can help when distributing personal property, thus, making the transfer of ownership more meaningful for all concerned.

Lyn took Becky's course two years ago. She got a lot out of it. However, the biggest problem we have (and most likely it's the same for many families today) is finding the time and place to even begin such discussions. Holidays and weddings are just too hectic.

Our four children live in different cities across the country. We have yet to get them all together at one time in our current home since we built it nine years ago. We're not exaggerating.

Granted, they don't have to be together to reveal which items in our house mean the most to them personally. Come to think of it, separate discussions would present fewer problems.

We have observed and tried to remember who's admired what - so far. And, come to think of it, one of them has already spoken up for the old fish-cleaning table from the Keuka Lake dock. It's currently a very rustic coffee table reposing in our living room. We're still not exaggerating.

Another wants his great-great-grandfather's books. A friend has even asked for custody of Lyn's Cabbage Patch twins. So, perhaps we've got a start on this Yellow Pie Plate thing, after all.

In fact, an interesting occurrence has us looking at sharing some "things" right now with the people who like them the most. Sharon, a lifelong friend of Lyn's, has always been fond of a certain bracelet that Lyn's mom wore. She'd actually fib to Lyn's mom and tell her Lyn didn't like the bracelet.

Apparently, Lyn's mom didn't get the hint. Lyn got the bracelet. Whenever the two friends get together Sharon teases, "I always did like that bracelet more than you did. I'm positive your mom really meant for me to have it!"

Sharon lives in Arizona. She visited us six months ago. The minute she saw the bracelet it started again. It's been amusing, but this time Lyn did some serious thinking about why the bracelet is so special to Sharon.

It had been a gift to Lyn's mom from the board members of a hospital where she'd faithfully served on the hospital auxiliary for many years. She didn't wear much jewelry, except the bracelet. It reminds Sharon of her.

Before Sharon returned to Arizona this time, Lyn slipped the bracelet into her hand. They laughed and decided to "share" it in six-month intervals.

Yesterday a package arrived. An accompanying note read, "To say I've enjoyed 'Mom's' bracelet is an understatement. You definitely make me feel special sharing it with me. I'm not sure when we'll touch base again in person, so since I know it's your turn to enjoy it again, I'm sending it back. Drat!"

Note To Readers

Lyn and Bill will present "A Breath of Fresh Air" interactive workshop for caregivers of memory-impaired loved ones at Florida Hospital in Sebring on Wednesday, Feb. 27 from 9 a.m. to noon. There is no charge and every attendee will receive an autographed copy of Coping With Caring, compliments of Florida Hospital Heartland Division. Call 386-6476 to register.

©2008 Journey Publications