Fractured Families: More Couples Resort To Faith-Based Divorce Counseling

AVON PARK - Jackie Stiles divorced less than 2 years ago but she still had some difficulties coping with it.

To help her with the aftermath, she has been attending several "DivorceCare" classes with Donna Titus, a church volunteer.

At Wednesday's session, the second to the last one for the course, Titus discussed with Stiles and another woman how to reconcile.

Both Titus and the video tapes she used encouraged it, because it is in the Bible. She cited II Corinthians 5:18. "And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the word of reconciliation."

The classes, hosted by the First Baptist Church of Avon Park, are part of a growing trend reflected in Highlands County. Licensed Clinical Social Worker Sandra Billings described it as an increasing "openness" for couples, especially Christians, to seek counseling to prevent or cope with divorces.

"More people are freer in seeking out counseling to prevent divorces," Billings said.

Titus said churches know that many couples struggle and some end up divorcing. During the session Wednesday, she described how broken couples could reconcile, telling Stiles and another participant that both parties should "acknowledge (their) sin" and correct their behaviors.

"God wants families to be together," she told Stiles and another woman who did not wish to be identified. "God allows divorce because of the hardness of your hearts."

Stiles, already divorced, said she went for religious counseling as well as a separate counselor, who was Christian but not a faith-based counselor. She suggested her faith was important to her as she recovered from her break-up.

"He helps you because you are not alone," she said.

Billings said that pastors send half of her clients her way, and of the remaining half, four out of five of those clients used her services in part because she is a Christian. Like Titus and Stiles, she said one's faith plays a major factor in whether a couple resorts to counseling to settle their marriage difficulties.

John McNeal, a social worker who had extensive Christian family counseling experience with Florida Hospital Heartland Division in Sun 'n Lake, said it is "almost an absolute necessity," for some of the clients he dealt with.

When he addresses the problems with clients, he, like Billings, deals more with the prevention of divorces. Programs like Avon Park Baptist Church's DivorceCare steps in after the separation.

"A lot of pastors are saying marriage is just downright tough," McNeal said. "It's the most difficult voluntary relation you can have."