Joyce Minor

Listening ... it's what mothers do

Highlands Today
Published: May 10, 2009

Recently I started thinking about all the things my mother has done for me and all the things for which I should thank her. They are myriad.
Of course all the usual things came to mind, like loving me even through my adolescent years, when I know it wasn't easy; nursing me through several teenaged broken hearts, without making light of my pain; comforting me when I didn't make the cheerleading squad and cheering me on when I did.
Unusual things also came to mind, like the time my mother left work in the middle of the morning to rush to the store, buy me a gym uniform, take it home and embroider my name on it, then deliver it to me at the junior high school, all before my fourth period class, just so I wouldn't be humiliated as the only seventh grader not in uniform.
One time she borrowed a whole set of encyclopedias from a friend and trucked them to our house so I could finish my biology project while I was sick in bed with strep throat.
Another time she stayed up half the night sewing flowers on bridesmaid hats so my wedding would be exactly as I had pictured it.
And when my first child was born, my mom crocheted a beautiful white christening dress that I'm now able to pass on to my daughter for her firstborn.
But after musing a while on events like those, I realized that most of what I feel grateful for are intangible things and nearly all of them are somehow connected to the way my mother always listened to me - not just to my words, but to my heart - and then responded with, not just what I wanted to hear to help me feel better, but what I needed to hear to help me be better.
So, though I know it's a little late in coming, Mom, I want to let you know that I recognize what a wonderful gift you've given me through the years just by listening, truly listening, to me.
For all the times you listened to my dreams ... and said, "Go for it!"
For all the times you listened to my regrets ... and didn't say, "I told you so."
For all the times you listened to my fears ... and said, "Trust God."
For all the times you listened to my disappointments ... and didn't say, "It's your own fault."
For all the times you listened to my predicaments ... and said, "We'll face it together."
For all the times you listened to my guilt ... and didn't say, "I'll fix it for you."
For all the times you listened to my failures ... and said, "It's not so bad."
For all the times you listened to my successes ... and didn't say, "Remember, I helped."
And, for all the times you just listened ... THANKS, MOM.