Joyce Minor

Sometimes life is just not funny.

Highlands Today
Published: August 22, 2009

Why is it that precisely when I'm beginning to feel in control...when I'm finally on autopilot and actually enjoying the ride...I have one of "those" days?

They say bad things happen in threes - Hah! That's if you're lucky. It's been my experience that downers are more likely to arrive by the baker's dozen.

Usually it starts with several small things like a run in my last pair of pantyhose, we're out of milk for cereal (again), and it's raining but my umbrella is in the car. At this point I'm annoyed, but I suck it up and determine to make the best of a rocky start.

Of course, that's when I pull out of the driveway and hit the neighbor's trash can, which reminds me that I forgot to put ours out. Now I have to decide whether to pull back in the driveway and get soaked dragging the trash to the curb (and also be late for my early meeting) or just let it go till the next trash day (and put up with the mess and the smell and ...) You get the picture.

I opt to stay dry and make the meeting on time, but that's when the trash truck rounds the corner and I have to stop and wait for them to clear half the block before I can proceed - so much for making the meeting on time.

I turn down Memorial Drive and join a parade of cars splashing slowly toward Sebring, at least until we reach the railroad crossing. There a freight train with no less than 200 cars is inching along at a pace that would make a snail look like a speed demon.

I punch the radio and hope the DJ has something funny to distract me while I wait. No such luck. I'm greeted with the latest argument on health care reform, crime is up 20 percent, the stock market is down (again), and my favorite coffee drink has been declared a carcinogen.

Now I'm beginning to feel defiant. I'll show them! I wheel into Brewster's and order a large Café Mocha with whipped cream. I grab the cup, whip around out of the drive-thru and ... half of my mocha is now in my lap, running down the side of the console, under the seat... Lovely. And what time is it? Barely 7:30 a.m.

Needless to say, I have to dash to make the meeting and, since my shoes are soaked, I slip and hit my knee on the door. OUCH! I limp into the conference room only to realize I forgot my notebook and have to return to my office and dash back to the conference room again.

It's then that I notice no one else is there, and I remember the meeting was postponed. There was never any need to hurry. Now I'm really ticked.

It is 8:03 a.m. and I'm back in my office, logging on to my computer, and ... the system is down - of course. It's never down, but today it is. At this point I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I think I'd rather have elective surgery than see what the next few hours have in store.

Ah, yes. Just another day in paradise.