Opinion

'So, who goes when?'

Dorothy L. Harris
Published: February 21, 2013

Recently Mr. Harris and some guys, who will probably want to remain nameless, traveled to training out of town. While away, they shared a room to reduce costs. This is pretty commonplace anymore, with bunking together a necessity more often than not.

While the idea of three women traveling and sharing a room with one bathroom strikes fear in my heart, apparently the men have this all handled smoothly.

The last time I had to bunk with a bunch of women, the bathrooms were outside in another building. The accommodations were pretty darn primitive, as was the training. There was no need to be able to shower and dress nicely. Even so, using the bathroom was a major ordeal.

The guys, however, started their week of coziness with a conversation that went something like this, "So, who goes when?"

"What?" I asked, shocked beyond belief at the simplicity and openness of their conversation. "You guys actually talk about that stuff?"

"Of course," Mr. Harris replied. "There's one bathroom and we had to figure out who would need it when."

I laughed because, as most women will attest to, we don't even like to admit we use the bathroom, let alone plan a coordinated schedule for it.

This made Mr. Harris laugh, because the way he sees it, it's much simpler to be clear about the needs and make sure everyone's on the same page. I guess this comes from years of experience bunking with firemen. When you spend a third of your life together, there's little the guys don't share. This got me thinking about how very different we ladies are from our men.

When we women dine out, we often must consider who has specific food issues such as preferences for vegan meals, low-carb, low-fat, no gluten or similar situations. Men just go eat, together, wherever. You won't hear a group of men discussing all the issues or hesitations about a dining location like women do. Gals remember if the bathrooms were clean, the waitresses friendly and the food prepared properly. Men simply remember if there was enough food and how much it cost, because of course, that's the important stuff, right?

When shopping, women check our coupons, discount cards and fliers just in case we are able to get a deal on top of the deal we have already managed to snag. Guys just buy what they need, when they need it or can't possibly manage without it anymore. Got a funeral tomorrow? Better go buy a suit after work if you don't have one that still fits. Socks have holes? If they aren't real bad, just keep wearing them. Don't even get me started on the underwear thing. Ladies, get your men some underwear, because you know they need it.

When men and women socialize, our focus is also incredibly different. Ladies will inquire about the family; the kids' schooling, sports and activities; as well as whether your parents are managing well in their old age. Guys talk about cars, sports and food. Once again, all the important things, right?

I would have thought that after spending a week together these guys would have had time to really get to know each other. They traveled together, worked together, bunked together and kept things casual. No pressure, no stress, no tizzy over restroom rights or departure times. Maybe you guys have something to teach us ladies after all.