Dorothy Harris
Smartphone changes a lot of things
Dorothy Harris, Highlands Today
Published: October 11, 2012
My new iPhone is changing my life. I am smarter, thinner, have less wrinkles and am certainly less wealthy than I was prior to the purchase. Seriously, I am not lying. Well, maybe I am lying about the wrinkles. Considering how much I'm smiling, I may have added a few wrinkles.Published: October 11, 2012
The phone is definitely making me smarter, though. I can tell from all the brain stress I'm experiencing as I learn this new equipment. Hmm, this might be adding a few more forehead crinkles, so complete disclosure — probably more wrinkles.
Thinner is completely true, however, as this phone is much lighter than the bulky one I used to have. A gal's allowed to count this sort of thing. Really, look it up in the girl's rule book. I bet you can find an app for that. If not, stop right there. I am claiming the rights to it, right now.
Moving onto less wealthy; yeah, I'm dropping a dollar here, a dollar there, on these apps. It is truly amazing what I now consider indispensable. I'm going to have to limit myself as I adore so many things and having them all at my fingertips is positively thrilling.
What isn't so thrilling, but more like hilarious, are the cryptic text messages I'm sending courtesy of autocorrect. Moving from the world's tiniest keyboard to a virtual touch screen that assumes it knows what I'm trying to say has created some pretty interesting messages. I've come to think of it as my own dysfunctional shorthand.
Just the other day, I was filling Mr. Harris in on an unpleasant experience I had. My text message went something like this; "Medic! Just say on a big tree ant and got environ mated!" In reply, Mr. Harris texted, "What???" I texted back, "Envenomated, dang phone with autocorrect! Just stung twice, argument!" Once again, Mr. Harris was baffled. My final text on the topic was simply; "Tree ant. In my pants. Booty. Ouch." Mr. Harris then offered to assist if the critter had a Hazmat placard. His suggestion: "If no placard — call the coroner." Who says we don't communicate well?
Needless to say, the phone requires our abbreviated words to be translated into full sentences, whether they make sense or not. While confusing, it does offer a brief amusement in the middle of the day. The only thing funnier than this is how annoyed my daughter gets when I try to tap her laptop screen to look at something. "It's not a touch screen," she'll gripe in frustration as I attempt to enlarge a photo for the third time. Amazing how quickly the mind leaps to new technology.
Lurking in the back of my mind, of course, is the fear that I might lose all the information on my new external brain, um, I mean iPhone. Did I mention I invested in a Lifeproof case? Check it out online when you have a few moments to be amazed. My daughter's comment on this says it all though. "You are gonna buy this, but you aren't going to let me take the phone into the ocean, right?"
"Heck, no," I replied.
"What's the point," she insisted.
She's right, of course, but losing all the information now stored on my electronic device just to photograph some fish is too scary, no matter what they claim. Maybe I'll have more confidence after a few trips, dips and spills. I'll keep you posted on how it holds up for Harris & Co.