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Highlands Today

Should have known better

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By Raleigh Whiteman | Highlands Today

Published: November 18, 2009

The column I submitted last week was a mistake. My apology goes to my editor for sending an un-publishable column expecting it to be used.

I made the mistake of writing while very angry regarding the murders at Fort Hood. I was angry that again a fanatical lunatic extremist went on a killing spree that could have been prevented. I attacked a religion without thinking clearly and suggested very naïve, impossible, and impractical solutions, while insulting all Muslims and our military commanders.

I was playing the part of a critical political analyst without any credentials whatsoever.

Thank goodness those who work full time at the paper have more reasonable thinking.

Innocence is priceless

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The 6-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex."

"Good morning Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?"

The pastor said, "Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, "Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"

The picnic

A rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual fourth of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it.

I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham.

Tell me, rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

The usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please," she answered.

"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."

"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.

"No." he said.

"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"No." she said.

"Good," he answered.

A good reason for term limits

Our U.S. House and Senate recently voted themselves between $4,700 and $5,300 pay raises. They voted to not give a social security cost of living (COLA) raise in 2010 and 2011.

Our Medicare and insurance premiums will go up more than $300 for the two years while we will not get the 3 percent COLA about $660 a year. Our total two-year loss and cost is between $1,600 and $3,200 for husband and wife.

Over those two years our representatives each get about $10,000 more in their already fat pay checks.

All of this is happening while there is triple digit unemployment and inflation creeping across the United States while the president is off apologizing to countries that are limiting imports from the United States.

Raleigh Whiteman, of Lake Placid, is a contributing writer to Highlands Today. You can reach him on the Internet at rwwhiteman@comcast.net

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