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Highlands Today

They must be good for something

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By Norm Cukras | Highlands Today

Published: May 1, 2009

I bought a new computer last year primarily for its feature of having Microsoft's Vista operating system installed. I got a Dell and one of the items I paid extra for was a 3 ½ " "floppy drive." One is never sure when the need will arise for the outdated drive. So far the need has yet to arise for me.
The other day I sat and pondered what to do with all those floppies that have yet to find their way into my idle drive.

In columns past I have addressed uses for discarded things like tennis balls, bowling balls, DVDs even Bill Clinton books. So I thought that now is the time to develop a baker's dozen use-list for floppy discs. Uses like:

•Paste numbers on them and have a durable deck of cards; of course a 52-card deck would be 6 1/2 inches high, making it hard to shuffle.

•Paste pictures on them and have a portable wanted-poster of America's enemies; of course in order to picture everybody who hates us you'll need every floppy ever produced.

•Paste bull's eyes on them and use them for target practice, or skeet shooting.

•Use them as throwing thingies in water skipping contests.

•Take them with you when you go to a restaurant to put under the leg of that wobbly table.

•Lace a few together and use as soles of sandals.

•Attach one to the tip of your antenna as an identifier for finding your car in a crowded parking lot.

•Hinge a couple together and use as castanets while performing on some amateur talent reality show.
•Stack a whole bunch of them on the floor and use as an aerobics' step.

•Donate them to the Gasparilla pirates to be thrown to the crowds instead of beads; the colored ones would be best.

•String a group of them together and hang on the porch as muted wind chimes. This would be great for people, who don't like the tinkling of wind chimes.

•String another group of them together, colored preferred, and hang over a crib as a mobile for your baby.

•Display them on the mantel along with your other antiques and family heirlooms.
One leg at a time?
I don't particularly care for the expression, "He's no different than me; he puts his pants on one leg at a time."

That rationale is a poor measurement of a man, and of course a woman. Because I dress the same as someone else doesn't elevate me to the same level as him. Consider the actions of two recent newsworthy individuals. Two men we have bestowed the title of "hero" upon, an honor that is sort of America's equivalent of knighthood.

The two recipients, of course, are Captain Chesley Sullenberger, the US Airways' pilot who saved the lives of 155 passengers and crew after his plane was brought down by a flock of birds, and Captain Richard Phillips of the cargo ship Maersk Alabama, who put his men's safety above his own life.

Both men tried to hide behind the cloak of "I was just doing my job." Still both were able to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. How many individuals who put their pants on the way these men do can perform in the same manner as them?

Let me be me

I guess it's human nature. People are continually warned about things like identity theft and the ease with which information and things like sex-texting can spread throughout the Internet. It's like an informational firestorm. Yet there is a prevailing attitude of users, or is that abusers, that says: Don't tell me to change what I'm doing, somebody just fix the problem so I can do what I want.

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