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Highlands Today

Old roosters still know how to win

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By Raleigh Whiteman | Highlands Today

Published: July 15, 2009

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.

The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old man, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"

The young rooster says, "Beat it! You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."

The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

The old rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.

The farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dangit, third gay rooster I bought this month.'

Moral of this story?

Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance!

Texters and texting

I feel very sure that virtually every one in my generation is wondering just why all these younger people are so involved in texting each other. It's all about texting these days - especially mass texting. Most mobile phones have a two way communication feature called in my days walkie-talkies. Why are these kids using their thumbs and typing out short hand notes which us older kids don't want to learn?

There was one kid who won a contest a few weeks ago by being the one who could type the most notes without a mistake. She could even do it behind her back using both hands. She claims that although she spends a great deal of time texting (400-470 a day), she's still been able to maintain a healthy social life and keep her grades up. She said that she and her friend study via text because it makes it easier to go back and review notes.

Fifteen-year-old Kate Moore from Iowa has taken her obsession with texting and turned it into something positive. The teen competed and won LG Electronic's U.S. National Texting Championship, earning herself the coveted title of fastest texter in the west. Moore, who averages around 14,000 texts a month, won a competition prize of $50,000.

The competition was not just about speed, but accuracy. The 22 finalists (chosen from over 250,000 applicants) were judged on their ability to text blindfolded, as well as texting while partaking in an obstacle course. Kate's final test required her to text three lengthy phrases without making any mistakes on the required abbreviations, capitalization or punctuation.

After winning, Kate advised, "Let your kid text during dinner! Let your kid text during school! It pays off," she said, "Your kid could win money and publicity and a phone."

My advice, don't do it while driving. It will get you and-or others killed.

Raleigh Whiteman, of Lake Placid, is a contributing writer to Highlands Today. You can reach him on the Internet at rwwhiteman@comcast.net

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