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Highlands Today

Watch out for 'conflicker' computer virus

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By Raleigh Whiteman | Highlands Today

Published: April 9, 2009

There is a computer worm that's called Conficker. It can infect your computer and spread itself to other computers across a network automatically without your doing anything.

However, if your computer is up to date with the latest security updates and your antivirus software is reliable you probably do not have too much to worry about.

I would suggest that if you are worried then go to http://update.microsoft.com and install updates. If you can't get to that update then try http://safety.live.com and scan your system. If any of these links fail you can call for support at 1-866-pcsafety.

Our language problems
Our president has been visiting many of the countries in Europe for the past eight days. I often wonder if we have an interpreter who is interpreting what the Islamic interpreter is interpreting. We have a very complicated language and it's often misused by many foreigners.

The following are some of the examples proving that English may be spoken in most parts of the world but seldom is it understood the way we as Americans interpret it. Here are some examples of how the average non-American business can put another peculiar twist to our words.

Sign in a Tokyo hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing, please not to read notice.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. Daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

Redhead joke
A blonde walks into a shop, looks in the window, then goes up to the shopkeeper and says, "I would like that TV in the window please."

The shopkeeper looks at the blonde and says, "Sorry I can't sell it to you."

"Why not?" the blonde asks confused.

"Because you are blonde," replies the shopkeeper.

The blonde leaves the shop and on the way home, thinks that she will outsmart the shopkeeper and prove that blondes are clever.

She visits the chemists and buys some red hair dye and goes home to dye her hair. The next day, the blonde walks into the shop sporting a new red hairdo and walks calmly up to the shopkeeper. "I would like to buy the TV in the window please," she asks.

"Sorry but I can't sell it to you," was the shopkeepers reply.

"Why not?" said the blonde, almost in tears.

"Because you are blonde," said the shopkeeper.

"How did you know I was blonde?" screamed the blonde, totally confused.

"Because that is a microwave," said the shopkeeper, calmly.

Raleigh Whiteman, of Lake Placid, is a contributing writer to Highlands Today. You can reach him on the Internet at rwwhiteman@comcast.net

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