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Highlands Today

Big Brothers Big Sisters Make a Difference

Jasmina Meyer/Highlands Today

From left: Stephanie enjoys lunch with her Big Sister Daphne Taylor in between classes at Woodlawn Elementary School recently in Sebring.

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By Jim  Konkoly | Highlands Today

Published: November 30, 2008

SEBRING When she became a Big Brothers Big Sisters volunteer, Daphne Taylor never dreamed that her fear of heights would help launch a friendship with an 8-year-old girl.
But that's what happened four years ago in her second meeting with Stephanie, now 12, at Woodlawn Elementary School.
They climbed to the top of the monkey bars and Stephanie caught Taylor's obvious hesitation to jump down the fireman's pole, then saw her take a deep breath and do it.
A few weeks later, in the hour they spend together at school each week, Taylor saw Stephanie balk at practicing reading out loud and gently chided her, "Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and go for it …
"She looked at me and understood, yeah, because she had seen me do that at the playground," Taylor recalled.
Fifty-two other children in Highlands County, from kindergarten through high school, also have a Big Brother or Big Sister who regularly spends time with them.
But the need is much greater, with 68 children on the waiting list, said Tameehsa Hudson, community resources director for the agency's Florida Ridge office.
Only a desire to help a child needing some one-on-one attention outside of their home is needed, Hudson said.
"You're not there to take the place of their parent or their teacher or their school counselor," she said. "You are there to be their friend, someone they feel comfortable enough talking to when they have had a really bad day or when they have a really great day and want to share it."
The biggest need is for volunteer men to mentor boys.
"We have such a need for male role models," Cupp said. "We have lots and lots of little boys who are waiting."
The vast majority of the BBBS matches are successful, said Kathy Cupp, the mentor manager at the non-profit agency's Florida Ridge office, 279 US 27 North, which covers Highlands and Hardee counties.
"A lot of times they start out in a school-based match and they just form a bond and a friendship and that leads to wanting to spend  more time together, and so they also go into a community-based match," Cupp said.
That's the case with Taylor and Stephanie, who began meeting at school but now also go on outings. Their favorite activities include playing tennis, riding bikes, swimming and fishing, and knitting cat toys as part of their volunteering for the Humane Society of Highlands County.
Big Brothers Big Sisters asks for a 9-month commitment for the school-based program, in which the Bigs meet their Littles once a week at school, and a year's commitment for the community-based matches, in which they go out several times a month.
It's not uncommon, though, that the relationships develop into longer term mentoring, Hudson said.
Taylor became a Big Sister in Ontario when she was paired with a 4-year-old girl and their match is still going strong 13 years later, and she's been mentoring a 12-year-old in Mount Forest, Ont., for three years. While spending winters in Sebring, she keeps in touch with both girls through letters, and does the same with Stephanie when she moves back north for the summer.
"For me, it's been a great experience all the way around," Taylor said. "When you get into the world of a child it's very straightforward and simple and fun."
Having fun together and just the time to talk often makes a big difference, Hudson said.
For the year that ended June 30, the Florida Ridge office's annual survey of Little Brothers and Sisters in Highlands and Hardee counties found that 95 percent had improved their academic performance.
The study also showed 93 percent having developed a better attitude toward school, 94 percent improving relationships with peers and family, 94 percent avoiding delinquent behavior, and 97 percent showing more self confidence.
Big Brothers Big Sisters was launched in New York City 100 years ago, Hudson said, and its formula for success remains unchanged: a caring adult volunteer spending time with a child.
"The one-on-one relationship that the Bigs and Littles develop with each other is our mission," she said. "Having that undivided attention, that one person who is there just for them, that feeling of being special and unique, that's what our volunteers bring to our kids."
As mentor manager, Cupp learns the background of the volunteers and children to make the best possible matches, sets goals for each child based on talks with parents, teachers and guidance counselors, and checks with the children, volunteers and parents at least once a month to see how things are going.
She attributes Big Brothers Big Sisters' long history of success to volunteers giving children "an extra shot of positive reinforcement."
"Positive words have a lot of power," she said. "A little encouragement can go a long way."
Gabe Read has been volunteering as a Big Brother since the early 1970s, when he was an English professor at Miami Dade Community College, and continued here when he retired and moved to Avon Park in 1997.
"All the little brothers I've had have been a great experience," he said.
For two years he's been a Big Brother to brothers Junior, 14, and Jirardo, 13. He encourages them in their school work and takes them on outings ranging from bowling to bike rides.
"Like everybody else when I was a kid, I got help," Read said. "People talk about a 'self-made person,' but there is no such thing. When somebody reaches their goals, they've always had somebody who gave them that boost that he or she needed. And, of course, he or she had enough on the ball to take advantage of that."
Junior has his sights set on becoming an architect and said he appreciates Read's encouragement and help on his school work.
"When I'm struggling with something, he's real easy to talk to," he said. "He's a really nice person and he answers everything I ask him."
Like Junior, Jirardo said he enjoys going out with Read and credits his help with raising his grade in math from a C to an A.
Carol Pacheco was taller than her Little Sister, Karla, when they teamed up four years ago, but not anymore. Back in the sixth grade, Karla, now 16, earned a slot in the Take Stock in Children college scholarship program and Pacheco became her mentor.
Their friendship grew and they went into the Big Brothers Big Sisters community program to spend time together outside of school visits.
Football games, a scavenger hunt, the Haunted Trail Halloween and BBBS events like the January Snow Fest, a summer water slide party and a Highlands Little Theater play are some of the outings they've enjoyed.
"It's cool to get out with Carol, she's one of my friends," Karla said.
"I wouldn't miss this for the world," Pacheco said as she shared dinner with Karla last week the day before her 16th birthday. "She keeps me young, and there's nothing like having a young lady in your life."
Karla said her experiences with Pacheco have been so positive that she is thinking about becoming a Big Sister someday.
"I just see how much fun we have and I'd like to be a role model," she said. "It's cool to have someone older than you that you can talk to and hang out with."
Big Brothers Big Sisters' vision statement is "a successful mentoring relationship for every child who needs and wants one, contributing to brighter futures, better schools and stronger communities for all."
Recruiting new volunteers is a never ending task that Hudson never tires of because, she said, "I fell in love with the mission and with the kids."
"We always have kids," she said. "Our biggest need is for volunteers."
Jim Konkoly can be reached at 863-386-5855 or e-mail jkonkoly@highlandstoday.com

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