Highlands Today
Email
Print
Dismal Diagnosis Doesn't Mean Quality Of Life Is Over
Jasmina Meyer/Highlands Today
From left: Manager of Supportive Services for Hope Hospice Jennifer Dumpert speaks about Gerri Olechowski situation after a diagnosis of lung cancer in 2007 during an interview recently in Sebring.
ADVERTISEMENT
Published: November 23, 2008
SEBRING - When Gerri Olechowski was told she had only three months to live, she took quick action and began giving away all her possessions.
The diagnosis came in May, 2007, and now, most of her things have passed to friends and family.
"I have like two pairs of shoes now," Gerri, 71, said, laughing while recounting the tale. "I gave away all of my jewelry, most of my clothes. I told everybody, 'I think maybe I might have to ask for that stuff back.'"
Gerri's story of long-gone possessions may be humorous, but her medical condition certainly is not. She was diagnosed with small-cell carcinoma, "which is the worst kind of lung cancer."
Doctors told her it was inoperable and the three-month window of life was given. Despite the dire situation, Gerri still underwent radiation and chemo therapy, procedures she believes may have helped extend her life.
"I'm glad I went through it because that might be the reason that I'm still here," she said. "It might have killed enough cells."
Still, Gerri's treatments were no walk in the park. In fact, according to her, they were downright miserable. Each time she went in for radiation, she became "deathly sick" and ended up in the hospital.
"At that point, I was so sick that I didn't even care about anything," Gerri said.
Ready To Die?
On Oct. 13, the body of Virginia Barnes, 62, was found by Highlands County Sheriff's Office deputies in a citrus grove in Lorida.
Her husband, James Higley Barnes, Jr., 64, was indicted earlier this month for first-degree murder in connection with Virginia's death.
Like Gerri, family members said Virginia was also suffering from a debilitating disease, in this case Alzheimer's. James' action, they believe, could have been a way to end her suffering.
"Because they were so much in love, close friends and family believe he was ending her misery and that this had to be assisted suicide," said Shannon Rios, who identified herself in an e-mail to a Highlands Today reporter as James Barnes' step daughter.
Rios said in her e-mail that Virginia was diagnosed more than seven years ago and made her husband promise her the "end result" before placing her in a nursing home."
"When a family member begged him to taker her to a nursing home, he refused and answered he promised her," Rios said.
Is Assisted Suicide The Right Term?
Barbara Combs Lee would call assisted suicide an "inaccurate term." The president of Compassion & Choices, a national right-to-die organization based in Denver, Colo., believes the phrase "death with dignity" is more appropriate.
"They're not suicidal," Lee said. "They would live if they possibly could. They're choosing the least worst death."
Death with dignity is not only what Lee calls a better phrase, but is also the name of an Oregon act, passed in 1997, allowing terminally-ill state residents to end their lives through the voluntary self-administration of lethal medications. Those meds are expressly prescribed by a doctor for that purpose.
Oregon was the first state to adopt such a law. Earlier this month, Washington state became the second with the passage of Initiative 1000, which is modeled on the Death With Dignity Act.
Compassion & Choices provided financial backing for I-1000, according to a Nov. 5 report in The Seattle Times. Lee said the most important thing her organization does is assist patients with advanced planning, something she thinks could have prevented the alleged circumstances behind Virginia Barnes' death.
"Tragedies like this can always be averted if people have the courage to look straight on to what the future holds and make plans accordingly," she said. "It never need come to this."
The Future's Holdings
Gerri's future during her chemo and radiation therapy seemed to hold nothing more than misery and sickness. Watching her friend endure all that hardship led a neighbor to finally say, "We're going to have to do something about this."
Hope Hospice stepped in and began providing Gerri with additional care. She remembers one of the case workers saying, "whoever gets this assignment, don't get too attached to her because she's only got a week or two to live."
That statement is more than a year old and Gerri is still alive. She credits not only the chemo, but also the medicines Hospice provides, the level of care, a good support system and an interest in quilt making (she's made 37 so far) in sustaining her life.
Then there is Bonnie, another source of joy and comfort in both Gerri's life and the life of her husband, Edward.
Bonnie is the couple's 6-year-old Havanese dog that Gerri calls the "joy of our life," with eyes that "you just want to die for."
"She's just like a family member and she has us very well trained," Gerri said.
Hope Hospice
The volunteers and workers with Hope Hospice serve as a source of comfort in not only Gerri's life, but the lives of other patients suffering from a terminal disease.
"We don't want to think of them as a patient, because that reduces them to an illness or a disease," said Samira Beckwith, CEO of Hope Hospice.
She added that those needing help sometimes talk about suicide, which is interpreted as concern over whether they will receive the care and support they need.
"They don't want to suffer," Beckwith said. "They don't want to be a burden to their family. Sometimes people are asking about it because they don't really know what to expect."
Hope Hospice provides nurses who help with pain management, physical, art, massage and speech therapists, social workers for counseling and chaplains.
"We're not just taking care of the person, we're taking care of their soul," Beckwith said.
Spiritual Comfort
Bob Moore said his call to ministry "shifted from the parish to the bedside."
"Seeing the plight of people in a time of distress is never pleasant, but being able to serve others and serve God is tremendously rewarding," he said.
The chaplain is serving his 17th year as a spiritual counselor with Hope Hospice. He spends between 40 and 50 hours a week working with those suffering from life-ending illnesses.
"If a patient or family is going through severe distress, then I will more frequently be with those families," Moore said. "There are some who adapt well to the news of a life-threatening situation and they require less attention."
One of the topics Moore discusses with those he ministers with is unfinished business, such as a forgiveness issue with a family member.
People also express concerns about death and why they would consider committing suicide, he said. When talk leads to the latter topic, Moore will discuss other options with them.
"We don't promote the practice and it's not something that we would suggest," he said. "Many people have a faith background that they lean upon in times of crisis."
In The Arms Of The Angel
Gerri has a strong attraction to angels, which began with her mother, Martha, who had a collection of the heavenly bodies.
In fact, she said the first nurse who tended to her was named Martha Angel.
"I got goosebumps," Gerri recalled.
When her time on this world ends, Gerri "plans on going" to Heaven's pearly gates and join the other angels there waiting.
"I'm just very curious on what Heaven is like," she said.
Until then, Gerri is taking each day as it comes and not obsessing over whether it might be her last.
"Everybody's got to go sometime," she said. "I worry more about my husband than I do myself because I don't know how he's going to make it on his own."
Since his wife was first diagnosed, Edward has been in charge of handling all the household chores.
"He's become the master of the house now," Gerri said. "He does all the cleaning and cooking, shopping, makes his own bed. He's really come around and everything is hunky dory now."
The two, however, will still talk about the day they are both preparing for. Gerri is starting to "feel my body slowing down," but said pain often comes and goes and there are good weeks and bad weeks.
"To me, it's a matter of time and I just take each day as it comes," she said.
That level of calm is not always evident in Edward, who Gerri describes as the "type that sits and thinks and thinks and thinks."
"I said, 'Stop worrying about it, it'll be OK,'" Gerri said. "'Let's just enjoy each day and make the most of it.' That's what we've always tried to do."
Brad Dickerson can be reached at 863-386-5838 or bdickerson@highlandstoday.com
Email
Print
ADVERTISEMENT
Advertisement
TBO.com - Tampa Bay Online Member Agreement | Privacy Statement | Work With Us
