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Highlands Today

Separation Of Spouses Difficult When In A Care Facility

Jasmina Meyer/Highlands Today

Kathryn Melendy visits her husband Jack Melendy on Wednesday at Southern Lifestyle Assisted Living of Lake Placid.

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By Bill Rettew Jr. | Highlands Today

Published: May 11, 2008

SEBRING — It came as a surprise.

After Martha Visbing suffered a stroke, she ended up in the Kenilworth Care & Rehab Center in Sebring. Left home alone was husband Glenn Visbing.

As he has for two years, Glenn visits his wife most evenings.

He said he misses "everything" about living under the same roof.

Glenn hires a maid to clean the house for three days a week, at two hours a visit, and eats out often.

Martha said hers is a "very lonely life," but hopes one day to recover enough to again rejoin her husband.

"Why me?" asked Martha. "Why us? Maybe God has a reason for this."

The couple still banters easily. Martha kidded her husband about making sure to not mix whites and colors when doing the laundry.

Glenn still loves his bride, but said the separation led to "not the closeness it used to be."

Kathryn Melendy visits her husband Jack Melendy Sr. at Southern Lifestyle Assisted Living Center in Lake Placid from her home in Wauchula nearly every day.

Kathryn misses romance. The couple held hands during most of a 20 minute interview last week.

"The big thing – sleeping next to him – it's not as romantic," said Kathryn. "I miss the comfort and safety you have with your partner."

Kathryn said her husband misses the family homestead.

"It's a touchy thing," said Kathryn. "He very often wants to go with me, but can't. Thankfully they do so many things to keep you entertained."

Kathryn slept in a chair the first four nights Jack entered the facility about three months ago.

"When you see they're taking care of everything, you back off and let them call the shots," said Kathryn. "It's a safe place to do what they want to do. My motto is to get through today."

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