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Highlands Today

Wearing A Beard For Justice

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Karl Erikson

Published: January 21, 2008

First of all, I have to say happy birthday to my Dad. He's 70 years old today. Yikes, that's a biggie. Over Christmas, Dad mentioned his impending start to an eight decade and I said, "I'll bet you wish you'd had me 10 years younger, huh?" He agreed. He was 29 when I was born, as opposed to me being 20 when my daughters came into the world.

I'll be in Boca Raton as you read this, going to celebrate Dad's birthday at my sister's house. I was told that I should bring the Nintendo Wii with me. In fact, "if you just want to drop off the Wii and leave, that'll be fine." Thanks, sis. Well, it's nice to be wanted, even if I had to buy the love with an expensive video game console.

In other news, if you've seen me around town lately, you probably didn't recognize me. Granted, not once have I been recognized on the street based on that little photo of me at the top of this column. Still, there's always a chance.

I'm sporting a full beard these last few weeks. A razor (electric or otherwise) hasn't touched my face, and it won't until the writers strike is over. David Letterman inspired me. He showed up fully bearded on the air Jan. 2, having independently negotiated a new contract for his writers. I knew when I saw Dave with a beard that the world was slightly askew. Haven't shaved since, even though Dave got rid of his facial hair a week after coming back to the airwaves.

No, I'm not a member of the Writers Guild of America. I'm not a member of any writers' union, actually. But I feel their pain. It's ridiculous that writers get only two cents for every DVD sold, especially now that releasing entire series of TV series onto DVD is commonplace. We're already feeling the effects of this strike, a mere two months after the strike began. Some of my favorite shows are already out of fresh episodes: "The Office," "Heroes," "Bones," and "Pushing Daisies" to list a few. Heck, the Golden Globes was reduced to a glamorized press conference. (One might make the argument that losing award shows is absolutely acceptable collateral damage.)

Unfortunately, shows like "Celebrity Rehab" and "American Idol" are unaffected by the strike. That's because reality shows aren't scripted, so they don't require writers. That means we're going to see more and more reality shows, as if there were a dearth of them to begin with. Yes, I like shows like "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" It feels good to answer questions that 9-year-olds can't answer, the smug little punks. Alas, most shows aren't as good as "Fifth Grader."

Sitting here with my scraggly self, I can easily think of great new reality concepts that do not involve even one numbered briefcase. For starters, this being an election year, lets have caged death matches between the Republican and Democratic candidates. It'll be like Celebrity Ultimate Fighting Championship, which I experienced for the first time over Christmas.

Come on now, are you trying to tell me you wouldn't watch Barack Obama body slamming Mitt Romney? Or John McCain sitting on Hillary Clinton's back, repeatedly slamming her head onto the ring floor? I think this would be a great way for candidates to win delegates. We'll start the pending Florida primary with the immortal words: "Let's get ready to rumble!"

Karl Erikson lives in Sebring and can be reached at karlerikson@yahoo.com

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