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Highlands Today

Pondering The Imponderable

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By Norm Cukras | Highlands Today

Published: January 19, 2008

To start this New Year off on the proper footing I decided once again to climb the Mountain of Knowledge and seek, from the great guru, answers to questions that have been bothering me for some time. Some longer that others. Questions like:

If Hillary gets the Democratic nod I wonder if Bill will exchange cookie recipes with the Republican First Lady hopeful?

Why do people avoid counting their birthdays? If they didn't have them they'd be gone.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and decide, "I think I'll squeeze those little thingies and drink whatever comes out of them."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp that no decent human being would eat?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license are you going to be smiling?

Why do we weep for people that die? They should be weeping for those of us left behind.

Was Bingo really invented to keep seniors off the streets?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs for heavens sake!

Do you think that the Campbell Soup Company will ever come out with a large print alphabet soup for seniors?

If I have to go to heaven in the clothes I was buried in, will there be dressing rooms available so I can change into something more suitable?

If a baker's dozen is one extra what is one less like this list of ponderables is?

Update From The Front

Over the past months I've written about the soldiers in Iraq who we send packages to and communicate with. Two fellows, once from the same outfit, are now separated so we get slightly different versions of their activities than we once did.

After not hearing from them over the holidays we got e-mails from both of them this past week.

Mike wrote, "I have just gotten back to Iraq, I got the best Christmas present, they let me go home for the holidays so I spent the first part of my leave with the girls and then flew to North Carolina to spend the new year with my pop. It was so nice. I am now back. I hope all is well with you."

And "doc" Smith reported, "So here is my life so far in a nutshell: I got promoted to staff sergeant, and they moved me to a new unit here in Iraq, I am on a Military Transition Team that works with the Iraqi Army. I am the medic for my team, plus I advise Iraqi medics on how to do their jobs. So needless to say I am crazy busy! The whole purpose of these teams is to train the Iraqi Army to do their job so that we don't have to anymore. So far it is an uphill battle, some of these guys are like working with grade school kids! Lol.

As we struggle to help Iraq become self-sufficient, at least security-wise, I hope at the same time we don't fall into the bottomless pit of trying to bring the people of that area up to our standard of living. All we need do is see that they reach one that they are used to and comfortable with otherwise we'll never get out of there.

Overheard

Overheard at the checkout counter: She is so thin it's obvious she has never mastered the fine art of eating.

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