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Highlands Today

Football Analogy Fits Presidential Race

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By JOHN DYCE GUEST COLUMN

The Tampa Tribune

Published: August 30, 2008

Following the advice of his famous father's coaching staff, who are now his assistants, the university's head coach had stubbornly stuck with a "three yards and a cloud of dust" offense even when scores became lopsided against his team. After going 1-79 over the past eight seasons, the coach reached mandatory retirement age and the trustees who comprise the selection committee are down to two candidates, after passing on the two that most felt were at the top of the list.

One coach wannabe, who they refer to as "The Kid," says he'll recruit for speed, have a more exciting and successful offense, and generally make a lot of changes. The other candidate, a storied gridiron hero-alumnus nicknamed "Tuffy," says a few subtle changes to the playbook will bring victories galore under his leadership. "I know how to win football games." He says with a distant look in his eyes. Also Tuffy promises that the program will pay for itself because he'll lower ticket prices which will increase profits.

Coach Tuffy has a lot of experience but not a ton of success as a head coach, while the Kid is only a sharp assistant coach, the "genius" offensive coordinator of the current national championship team. Still, the Kid has gotten the adrenaline flowing in some of the trustees with his can-do leadership style. "Heck" said a 70-year-old former player, "He makes me want to put the pads on and give it another go!" Other trustees are torn because they kind of like traditional football and value experience over potential. Plus they feel indebted to Tuffy for his scrappy play during the school's national championship season 50 years ago. They also like Tuffy's fiscal program (although they haven't figured out how lowering revenue increases profits) because the university has been hitting the trustees up for money for athletics. The Kid on the other hand wants to upgrade the weight room and the locker rooms which cost a bundle! He says the facilities are a disgrace for such a prestigious school.

In their private moments, the trustees wonder if the fact that the Kid is black is swaying them one way or the other. What bothers them most is that the guy seems a bit uppity; anyone else in his situation would apply at a lesser school to gain experience and build his reputation. Still, he displays infectious confidence that he is ready for the big time.

Meanwhile, the students, eager to once again be proud of their school and believing that wholesale changes are needed, have rallied around the young, personable coach they see being interviewed on ESPN almost daily. That ticks off coach Tuffy who, let's face it, isn't going to light up a room or provide exciting sound bites. Coach Tuffy complains that personality has nothing to do with successful coaching; X's and O's are what really count. "I know how to win football games," he says, somewhat testily.

Feeling in their bones that the right decision will return the school to football glory, the trustees are glad they have a little more time to decide. Meanwhile, the sports world, including a number of high school football phenoms, anxiously awaits their decision.

John Dyce lives in Lorida.

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