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Highlands Today

E-Mail Scammers Keep Trying

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By Raleigh Whiteman | Highlands Today

Published: September 20, 2007

These scammers offering us millions in unclaimed winnings or inheritances in Africa and other foreign places must be somewhat successful because they keep sending out e-mails that we will be awarded umpteen millions of dollars if we respond and forward our address and bank account number and other information they will send us the money forthwith.

Do not, I repeat, do not respond in any manner to these bogus offers of getting rich. They have means of getting information about you with the least bit of response you may give them and will rook you of your money faster than you can call the authorities.

I receive several every day and immediately delete them. I haven't found a way to block them completely, yet.

Accuracy In Advertising

The following are actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Beware Of Kindness

A good canvas cover maker, Ed Opfer, who lives on Lake Clay with wife, Kathleen, sent me this story that tells us guys to use a good bit of caution when things appear to be too good to be true.

A lovely woman in one car and a man in another are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Saturday night. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. You're a man and I'm a woman, so this must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle my car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cork back in, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

Great Excuse

"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door.

"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm Street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course, all my training came back to me in a minute."

"What did you do?" Asks the bartender.

"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

Raleigh Whiteman, of Lake Placid, is a contributing writer to Highlands Today. You can reach him on the Internet at rwwhiteman@comcast.net

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