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Highlands Today

Ugly Is As Ugly Does

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Joyce Minor

Published: October 21, 2007

Lately, I've been up close and personal with an inordinate number of Florida wildlife. Some of those encounters have been pleasant, some not. And that got me to thinking about why we react as we do to "all creatures great and small," including people.

I've spent many mornings admiring the beautiful sandhill cranes, storks, and ibis that are tame as pets around here. I've watched a bald eagle swoop low overhead then soar to its nest atop a dead tree.

Recently, I slowed my car to admire a lovely deer crossing the highway. But the other day, two ugly wild pigs were feeding along the airport road, and they, too, were fun to watch — from the safety of my car.

An armadillo ventured into my front yard in broad daylight and stayed there nosing around in the grass for nearly an hour. I had never seen a live one up close. I walked slowly to within 10 feet of him, yet he was completely undisturbed by my presence. I realized it, too, was rather ugly, yet I was fascinated.

Sometimes the lines between beautiful and frightful get blurred. Today a tree frog, cute and funny when he was on my window, became ugly and frightening when he jumped onto my arm and then into my car. As far as I know, he's still in there, but I can't find him. So, now, I'm afraid to drive the car. I'm certain that if he jumps on me while I'm in traffic, I'll freak out and probably have a wreck.

I know that because recently a huge brown spider hitched a ride on my hair then crawled across my face while I was driving. I slammed on the brake, flailing wildly till I finally swatted the nasty critter. Obviously, that was the wrong thing to do, but there was no time to consider; I just reacted. Fortunately, the driver behind me was alert and stopped quickly. I'm sure he thought I was having a seizure or totally nuts.

A few weeks ago, while dining al fresco at a restaurant, a hairy black tarantula decided to take a stroll up my back. Fortunately, my uncle managed to remain calm, brush it off, and kill it. If you're a spider lover, sorry about that, but I hate the ugly things. I know they eat roaches, but that doesn't give them license to crawl on me.

When I spotted a grasshopper the size of a small bird in my mother's backyard, I actually enjoyed observing it, from a distance. But when one got in the screened porch, I set a world record sprinting for the door. There are limits to my curiosity.

Nevertheless, I do think I'm improving in my ability to stay calm when encountering scary critters. Yesterday a lizard got into my office. My first impulse was to grab a broom and whack it. But I managed to catch it in a paper cup, carry it outside, and release it in the bushes. I was so proud of myself.

Now, if I could just learn to be that way with people, even those who are ugly, or threatening, or just in my face at the wrong time. They have the right to exist. And I don't have the right to respond to them with knee-jerk, prickly, rejection. Usually, a calm and caring response will turn them from surly and threatening to friendly and pleasant. Of course, this is not exactly a new idea. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath." So, why is it taking me a lifetime to learn it?

Unfortunately, it's because I'm preconditioned to respond positively to the beautiful and negatively to the ugly. But that's a whole other can of worms. Maybe I can deal with that in another column, and maybe not.

I hate worms.

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