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Highlands Today

Sometimes Less Is More

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Joyce Minor

Published: November 25, 2007

These days, life moves so fast, and we are all so busy, it has become necessary to plan farther and farther in advance to make anything happen. At least in part, this is because we have somehow developed the need to make every occasion a major production. Compulsion to "wow" those who attend has robbed us of most of the spontaneity, and, in my opinion, much of the joy of special occasions.

It used to be that you could call a few friends on the spur of the moment to come and watch a football game or play cards. You could tell them all to bring something to eat or drink, and, presto, a party was born. It didn't matter if one person came in jeans and someone else was in a suit. It didn't matter if every person brought the same bag of chips or whether those who showed up alone or brought a friend. It was just fun. The spontaneity added to the enjoyment and the memories.

These days, we're all so overbooked and impression-conscious that even for something as simple as a backyard cookout, we think we need to send engraved invitations three months in advance. We know even our own family members will need time to rearrange half a dozen conflicting commitments.

Besides, it takes at least that long for the hostess to rent a serving tent, have the patio pressure-washed, buy new lawn furniture, string 10,000 twinkle lights in the trees, hire a caterer, book a strolling mariachi band, and produce handmade place cards and favors for each guest. And, after all that, when the guests finally arrive, she won't even know it, because she'll be on Quaaludes just to get through the evening. And for the next month she'll be recovering in the local psyche ward.

Why does every little occasion have to turn into a dress ball? Instead of making those little occasions more special, it makes the truly special occasions totally anti-climactic. Graduation at the local pre-school is more formal these days than my college commencement was. By the time today's kids graduate from high school, they've worn a cap and gown and marched to "Pomp and Circumstance" more times than they went to class.

These days, engaged couples have to reserve a church and reception facility at least a year in advance. When the wedding day finally arrives, the arrangements have been completed for so long the bride already wishes she could change her choice of gown because it's last year's style. No wonder so many couples choose to live together first. With the demand for long-range, elaborate wedding planning, I'm sure they feel they have no choice. And, again, the "special" occasion, is actually less special.

Pressure to plan farther and farther in advance has been created, not so much by our busy schedules as by the perception of a need for every occasion to somehow outdo the previous one (or the one the neighbors did). That attitude has been foisted on us by the companies that make and market the decorations, flowers, clothes, and all the other party trappings, which they've convinced us we simply must have.

Of course, the most abused occasion of all is Christmas. The joy of the holiday has been lost in all the decorations and arrangements and the pressure to make each Christmas grander than the last. That is not what makes Christmas memorable and, deep down, we all know it. But we've forgotten that, often, less is more.

When I decorate my tree each year with the same slightly shabby ornaments, I do it because they were made by precious 4-year old hands that are now 24 and far away. That's what makes Christmas, Christmas. Too much planning, and too much "gilding the lily," can wilt the bloom.
There was a reason the King of the Universe chose to be born in a cattle stall.

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