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Highlands Today

Are We Having Fun Yet?

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By Norm Cukras | Highlands Today

Published: December 22, 2007

Well we're back. We were able to leave for a Caribbean cruise and return without causing even a ripple in the county's daily activities.

We were off to have our share of fun. That's what the cruise lines promise you if you book with them – regardless of who "them" is. Yet, there are a few things the commercials and brochures do not address.

Like for instance there are times when you are required to stand in line with hundreds of other fun-seekers before you can have your share of the festivities.

Frequently those people who are not having fun outnumber those who are by a ratio of lots to few. While there is no corollary between the two, the number of old people outnumber those shown in the ads is the same ratio of lots to few.

You may find that those people who allow their children to display unruly behavior at home do not require that they change the way they act in public.

Even though cellphones do not work out in the middle of the ocean, people continue to wear them in the hopes that the ship might by chance pass some carrier's forgotten outpost. And as soon as the ship nears any port the thumbs begin to be flexed.

Passengers are libel to discover first hand that ships sometimes move in strange and mysterious ways. Not quite as mysterious are people's reactions to these movements. In our case the cruise line must have felt we were hurricane-deprived this year and took us along the edge of tropical storm Olga that contributed to the strange and mysterious ship movements. Although I did talk to one young mother who enjoyed a day of peace and quiet when her twin 4-year-olds were in the clutches of mal de mer.

I came to the conclusion that obese men over 50 should not wear a thong in public. Especially if they are by chance going to walk up stairs in front of me. It's enough to take the fun out of any cruise and cause you to avoid the cornucopia-like buffets - for at least 15 or 20 minutes. In fact none of the "lots" and only a few of the "fews" should even consider publically wearing a thong in the first place.

And regardless of the number of photos you take of something the next one would have been your best - had you only been ready.

Make Your Own Fun

One way to enjoy a cruise is to talk to people you happen to meet: Like the woman from Pittsburgh who had emigrated from Russia and married a man from Jamaica. She told a tearful story about trying for 10 years to get her son out of the communist country. Or the woman who wanted to trade rutabaga recipes - actually she referred to them as turnips. Or the cab driver on the island of St. Maarten who was born in the Bronx, served 14-years in the U.S. Marines and retired from the U.S. Navy then returned to where his parents were born.

When we asked the driver what the main source of income on the island that is split between the Dutch and the French was he said simply,"Tourism." He also said that among the island's landowners, are Sen. Bob Dole and Jay Leno.

When we stopped on the island of Tortola in the British Virgin Islands a man was hollering to a friend of his across the street. Jokingly I said, "Are you yelling at me?"

"I would never yell at you," he replied seriously, "you (tourists) are our life."

Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has some experience to relate. All they need is someone to listen.

And now I'm ready to sign up for my next cruise – as soon as I shed a few pounds.

Overheard

Overheard at the checkout counter: Tuesday is Christmas. Make the most of it.

We thank God for the gift that He gave us so many years ago and the blessings He continues to bestow upon each of us.

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