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What Makes A Pretty Woman?

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Joyce Minor

Published: December 9, 2007

A few days ago, I re-watched one of my all-time favorite movies, "Pretty Woman." Though I've seen it umpteen times it still makes me laugh and cry and feel good all over. For me, it is the ultimate chick-flick. But "Pretty Woman" isn't just another love story.

Yes, Julia Roberts and Richard Gere are magic together, and the story is laugh-out-loud funny, but there's much more to it than that. This movie has stayed popular for more than a decade because it's a story of how love transforms the people who share it.

Vivian, a streetwalker with no future, meets Edward, a lonely, heartless business tycoon. To keep from getting hurt, both of them have closed their hearts to the people around them. When they fall in love, they learn that love is worth it, even if you get hurt. Vivian finds that in being loved, and returning that love, she feels validated as a person. She's suddenly aware that she is worthy of respect, including self-respect.

When he opens his heart, Edward, the cutthroat businessman, finds that loving Vivian also means respecting her as a person. Doing that awakens in him the capacity to respect and care about other people as well. And caring brings fulfillment he has never before experienced. He says, "I feel alive for the very first time."

That's what's truly magical about the movie and about love. It's not just a feel-good thing; it's something you do — an act of giving that somehow changes you into a whole different person. Of course, the best part of loving someone is being loved in return. When that happens, like Vivian, you suddenly feel good about yourself. Nothing raises your self-esteem like knowing you are loved.

Nothing makes you value yourself like knowing someone else values you. And nothing makes you feel so alive as giving love to another person.

This time of year we all have the opportunity to experience this for ourselves by giving, not just gifts, but something of ourselves to the people we love. The gift of love makes loved ones aware they are valued.

Of course, loving someone who loves you back is easy. Anyone can do that. However, in the holiday season especially, we all have the opportunity to reach out to people in need, people who feel unlovable, people whose self esteem has sunk so low they may not even appreciate what we give. That is all the more reason to do it.

It's easy to be like Edward, intentionally keeping our guard up to keep from getting hurt. But doing that, we lose the ability to care. Doing that, we lose the joy of giving. Doing that, we just plain lose.
Yes, loving means risking rejection. It can bring you pain. It also can bring you great joy and fulfillment. And, yes, it's worth it, always.

Loving and knowing you are loved makes any woman a "pretty woman."

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